Tips for some repair of your relationship

I was thinking a couple of months ago about releasing a quarterly relationship gossip / advice post, wherein I would share with you my advice and experiences and interact more deeply with my readers, however something distracted me. 

Whilst I was about to start my first post, I was binge watching Married at first Sight Australia. The TV program that has become huge in most countries now. We in the UK had it and even Brazil brought out their own show, strangers marrying each other without ever meeting first! I was hooked from the very first show I watched.

And with this in mind, I am not scared to share with you some activities that the experts hinted to the couples 'would help deepen their connection with each other'. One particular week on the program was named 'Intimacy Week', below are just a few helpful exercises if you need some encouragement within your relationship. 

I have done all of them with my partner, just to try them out (can't talk about it if I haven't put my blogger hat on) of course. So let's begin… 

Be vulnerable and talk

Opening up and sharing something as simple as a fear you might have, a life experience or even where you see the future of your relationship heading, your partner is always wanting to learn something new about you and together it makes you stronger. 

Don't be afraid to be vulnerable - I can not agree more with this one, communication in my opinion is a top priority in a relationship. The experts' suggestion here to talk to each other and open up, means that the people involved are devoted and will reciprocate some communication too. The effective exchange of a couple's thoughts and feelings is a strong building block.

Photo from Unsplash

Make out for 5 minutes 

In the middle of a long term relationship, who really has the longing to do this? Personally I know I don't. In our honeymoon phase I absolutely loved kissing my partner, it was passionate and felt perfect, but 7 years in, for me that aching desire to snog has dwindled off. However, my partner still feels the desire to do it, I can only accept it as a compliment, but I feel bad when I pull away, a kiss can mean so much and I do understand why this one was chosen by the experts. While kissing it can trigger our hormone, oxytocin which is the feel good endorphin release during and after the make out sesh, kissing shows affection to one another, gives security and emotionally makes each other feel closer. I couldn't last the whole 5 minutes, I feel we are beyond this now, we kiss all the time whenever we can but a full on snog sesh isn't for me.

Photo from Unsplash

Hug for 2 minutes 

I'm not going to lie, I was a bit skeptical about why this was such a chore for some of the couples. Personally I absolutely love cuddling with my partner, to us it can be anything from a supportive hug to a 'I just need to be held' hug. Who doesn't want to feel safe and warm in their partner's arms? In the show the experts explained that just for those two minutes, you need to melt in each other's arms and release any worries to feel secure, no distractions, just you two getting closer. I was all over it, two minutes wasn't long enough for me! 

Staring into each other's eyes 

This was suggested for 2 minutes also, must admit me and my partner had never actually purposely done this. Sure you look at each other when you're talking to them but not for two whole minutes and in silence. I actually found this one quite hard, I didn't realise I couldn't look into my partner's eyes without feeling slightly uneasy and I have no idea why. I don't feel comfortable when he looks at me anyway in his admiration towards me, I usually tell him to stop. Insecurities popped out of this task for me that's for sure. But the experts said that mutual eye contact synchronises two people together. Again it is a way to allow yourself to be vulnerable, they say the eyes are the way to a soul. 

Foreplay

Yep, it was Intimacy Week after all. Do you really know your partner's desires? When it comes to the bedroom are they hiding a secret fetish maybe? Exploring each other is the only way to get your answers. Have a play around with a set of handcuffs, seek out if they like being tickled with a feather or if in fact it turns them on, and sensually massage each other with some oils. Some really good starting points there. Me and my partner talked about all of our boundaries and desires before we agreed to be intimate, we actually found that lead up and just talking about it all was a turn on in itself. Actually words can be a useful foreplay tool to try as well. If you can not open up about what you crave in the bedroom, what else are you holding back? 

Making your already great relationship stronger takes hard work but it can be a blast too. Even the smallest of gestures can create a spark.

Do you enjoy being hugged? 

Will you try any of these tips?

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